Confidence: Constructed Not Confined
Sport has played (pun intended) a significant role in my life for the last 20 or so years. I have been provided limitless opportunities as a player, a coach, and now a mental coach. Throughout my experience as an athlete, and even further, as a person, there is one thing we all wish we had more of – confidence. There’s nothing quite like those days when we can strut our stuff and proceed with little to no doubt that we are capable of executing and excelling at what we do. It looks great. It feels great. So, it comes as no surprise that we would have a constant craving for more of it. However, I find that most of us have many faulty ideas about what confidence really is and how it’s built. I would like to shed some light and provide some insight about how we can go about developing a more steadfast, stable structure of confidence.
I typically begin by asking individuals if they feel confidence is more of a thought or a feeling. After some back and forth deliberation, and much to the dismay of the individual(s), I present them with the notion that confidence may include elements of both, but really confidence is action. Yes, you read that correctly; confidence is ACTION. We don’t just want to think confident or feel confident, rather we want to BE confident. I know that may sound funny initially but let me elaborate. First and foremost, when looking at the Latin origin, it stems from confidere meaning “to have full trust” (Dictionary, 2019) and when we think about it, isn’t that really what confidence is? Our ability to trust ourselves in a given situation. Now, the tie to action – trust is best developed by our actions. What it boils down to is how our experience and the actions we choose, or don’t choose, prepare us for a specific task or event.
The best part about the choice component is this means we can still choose our actions despite what our feelings may be telling us. We can still perform the right actions even if our ideal feelings aren’t available. I know you may still be questioning this so let me provide an example: if I am preparing for an exam, I can choose to study for multiple days leading up to the exam. I can choose to study the day before leading up to the exam. I can also choose to not study at all. Any of these options may elicit various thoughts and feelings of confidence, but our actions help develop trust in our ability to perform the way we want when we want. The individual who chose to study multiple days has much more reason to trust themselves because they’ve allowed themselves the time and experience to develop competence. While this may be a relatively simplified example, it does illustrate the effect of action on how we develop confidence to perform.
The second question I ask the individuals I work with is, “What comes first, confidence or success?” Again, I typically receive some looks of confusion or some immediately respond with, “Success!” or “Confidence!” But some have caught onto the game and ponder the question a little more carefully, then usually come to the conclusion that it depends; it can be either. I ask this question to introduce the notion that there are generally two ways confidence can be built. 1. Is the outside-in approach where a successful outcome is first and then confidence shows up as a result or 2. The inside-out approach where we build confidence from within and become successful as a result. The latter is the most stable of the two approaches because it allows us to influence our confidence in a much more productive manner (Vealey, 2018). Outcomes are rarely in our control. A perfect example of this includes athletes that show up and play really well, but still lose and on the flip-side, an athlete can show up and play really poorly, but still win. In almost any sport or performance context, this has happened at some point, further illustrating that the outcome is not always the most indicative of our abilities and therefore should not confine our ability to acquire and maintain confidence.
There are several strategies that we can choose to utilize to help further develop our confidence which include preparation, social support, and intentional use of self-talk and body language (Hays, Thomas, Maynard, & Bawden, 2009). What is most important about each of these strategies is that they are all action-oriented processes. Preparation comes from things like establishing a clear mission and subsequent objectives on a daily basis, taking ownership of your learning process through reflective practice, and continuing to bolster experience through the use of mental rehearsal. Social support is an impactful strategy, but it does not mean that I am reliant upon others to achieve success. Rather, social support comes from the choices we make to surround ourselves with individuals who not only encourage us with positivity, but also holding us accountable to our expectations and processes; they encourage our pursuit of challenge while also able supporting us through them. Lastly, self-talk and body language contribute to our confidence through the undeniable mind-body connection. Our ability to manage those interactions within ourselves is largely dependent on sharpening each of these tools.
Confidence is found, developed, and maintained by being purposeful and selective in our action. If our confidence is built on the fickle nature of outcomes and reliance on inconsistent emotional responses, we become confined to a state of helplessness. Instead, allow the choice to take action serve as your stable, constructed foundation of confidence because it is one of the limited aspects of performance that lies within your control.
“The one thing that all famous authors, world class athletes, business tycoons, singers, actors, and celebrated achievers have in common is that they all began their journey when they were none of those things.”
References:
1. Dictionary, M. W. (2006). The Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Merriam-Webster, Incorporated.
2. Hays, K., Thomas, O., Maynard, I., & Bawden, M. (2009). The role of confidence in world-class sport performance. Journal of sports sciences, 27(11), 1185-1199.
3. Vealey, R. S. (2018). A periodization approach to building confidence in athletes. Journal of Sport Psychology in Action, 1-12.