Power of the Pack
Most have heard the saying “You are the company you keep.” While I am hesitant to agree with this statement whole-heartedly, believing that you will always be yourself and never another, I do resonate with the message that the company you keep is incredibly significant. I have been referring back to this idea quite frequently over the last few months seeing as my “company” has been essential to helping me more effectively navigate a chapter of transition in my life. I like to think of my people as my wolf pack and in considering the role my wolf pack plays more consciously, I have been thinking about the reasons I find it to be such a powerful source of support.
I understand the term “wolf pack” is a commonly used buzz-word in a variety of contexts these days, but I love this phrase because of how it alludes to the way a group of individuals band together for exploration and survival. I feel that is exactly what my wolf pack provides for me; they encourage me to seek more and endure all that life throws at me. Perhaps in a selfish way, I have become more aware of those I keep close and the reasons I gravitate towards certain individuals. Nobody operates independently of others. Therefore, it is critical to understand the roles they play in your life and the way you contribute to theirs. I like to think of it is as tailoring a system to be most productive, not only for you, but all involved (Prochaska & Norcross, 2014). These are the components I find the most vital in developing a dynamic wolf pack:
1. Willingness to work together: This piece goes without question. Now, not everyone in my wolf pack necessarily works side by side with the other individuals involved, but I conceptualize this to mean a willingness to collaborate. Effective collaboration includes genuine desire to listen, acknowledge differences, but also having the courage to present individual strengths, even if it’s not easy to do. To share an example, a particular member of my wolf pack is always willing to step into the role of telling me when I am becoming too attached to my emotion and basing my decisions too much off of those emotional compulsions. I acknowledge this is a difficult role to play and I am so incredibly grateful that I have someone who is willing to provide that level of perspective in my life. I also have those that are willing to continually point out positives or highlight my successes, especially when I tend to ruminate on things I have not done well enough. Long story short, I think it is important to keep your wolf pack diverse and also show appreciation for all of the differences in the way they contribute to the big picture; an effective system is about poking holes and finding ways to continually improve by stitching different pieces of cloth together to create a stronger, more exceptional product.
2. Unlimited patience: Patience is commonly referred to as a virtue. I am fortunate enough to say my wolf pack has a remarkable amount. Patience is a very difficult thing to come by, but what I appreciate about patience more than anything is that in order to have it, there has to be a common ground of shared humanity; it is incredibly challenging to have patience without giving others the benefit of the doubt and trying to understand one another on a fundamental level. To be more patient requires developing the qualities of acceptance and compassion (Neff, 2003). These two qualities provide more space for others to be heard and creates a safe space for people to express their own creativity because mistakes or different perspectives can be revealed without the fear of being shamed. Unfortunately, these types of spaces are not always easy to come by, but I truly believe the best ideas and the most meaningful ideas are only bred from environments where psychological and emotional safety are provided and this can be done through the scope of unlimited patience.
3. Continuous curiosity: As you’ve probably identified by now, these qualities of a dynamic wolf pack are layered and woven to build off one another. When there is an inherent willingness to work together, there is typically a larger capacity for patience, and when there is more patience, there are heightened levels of curiosity. Curiosity is something that would appear very obvious, but I don’t know that it is always welcomed in reality. Curiosity tends to invite the mysterious and unknown which can be scary for a stringent system. However, the strongest wolf packs can figure out how to embrace this challenge and call upon one another to gain experience navigating new situations (Swanson, 2017). I think the strongest wolf packs seek out these opportunities to explore whatever it is they are curious about because 1) that is how breadth and growth through experience happens and 2) added bonus: the threshold for dealing with the unfamiliar increases and makes it a lot more difficult to fail when adverse circumstances present themselves.
These are the 3 most significant components I have identified in contributing to the powerful nature of my wolf pack. What these 3 components offer boils down to inspiration. I am absolutely inspired by the members of my wolf pack because of how they embody these 3 qualities. Not every member is the same and some play more roles than others, but not one is replaceable and I value every single individual that completes the collective because it would be impossible to be as effective without them. I want to say thank you to my wolf pack, not only for making me better at what I do, but for also challenging me to be better at who I am. I want to challenge you to think about the members of your wolf pack. Who is it compromised of? Why? What role(s) do they play? What role do you play? How do you serve others in their wolf pack? I ask you to consider the power of people and appreciate them because nobody can do it alone. Not everyone deserves reward and recognition because those things deserve to be earned, but everybody deserves to be appreciated for who they are and what they bring to the table; everybody has something to offer.
“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.”
AUTHOR: Stephanie Hale
References:
1. Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and identity, 2(2), 85-101.
2. Prochaska, J., & Norcross, J. (2014). Systems of psychotherapy: A transtheoretical analysis (8th ed.). Stamford, CT: Cengage Learning.
3. Swanson, G. (2017, May 22). Leadership Qualities of a Wolpack [Web log post]. Retrieved November 3, 2018, from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/leadership-qualities-wolf-pack-gregg-swanson/